Forever alone
If you happen to be having a birthday and there is nobody around to sing you a nice song, or to wish you a happy birthday do not despair. As an aside, such a situation might happen because you have alienated everybody by constantly talking about meta this and control that, or as in xkcd 196.
But do not despair, Emacs has your back. The developers of Emacs have foreseen
just such an eventuality and have included the aptly named
animate-birthday-present
function which is so kind as to ask your name and
then animates a nice happy song for you.
If you like surprises then include the following into your .emacs
file and be
surprised every year. It surprises me.